Today, I am going to list for your my most embarrassing moments. Unlike most people, I am not ashamed of these moments. In fact, I find them completely hysterical. It was only in the moment that I was embarrassed. Beware: most of these are gross stories as well as embarrassing stories.
1.) Year: 2002, Senior year of high school. Place: Choir Contest.
I don’t know why my choir dress was so long because I’m actually quite a tall person and usually uniforms like that run short on me. Whatever the reason, my dress was way too long and apparently I did not notice the need to hold it up as we exited the stage after our wonderful performance. Upon stepping off the top step, I stepped on the back of my long dress and proceeded to bounce down the entire stair case on my rear. Of course, I was SO embarrassed, I got up immediately and pretended like I was fine and ignored the incident completely. Later, at Choir Banquet, I was awarded the “Grace” award and was prophesized to become the inventor of padded panties. Thanks Banks.
2.) Year: 2004. Place: Theory II Class in College.
Because of this experience, I live in fear of a repeat performance. Sitting in the quiet Music Theory II classroom discussing phrasing, I felt the urge to sneeze. This is what came out of my body: ah, ah, ah, {massive explosion of gas} choo! I tried to ignore it but it was impossible especially when my theory professor commented that I just performed an INVERTED SNEEZE and then proceeded to ask my how the dance classes I was teaching at the local YMCA were going. I’ll never live that one down.
3.) Year: 1997ish. Place: Bus on Church Mission Trip.
I’m unsure about the year because I only remember what I’m wear which was my favorite sweater at the time. It was black and really cute. I looked super skinny in it. LOVE!
Anyway, the problem for mission trips for ME was that my ENTIRE family would attend because my mom was the church pianist and my dad ran sound. There was no escaping them. Anyway, for some reason, I got in trouble and was embarrassed about being in trouble. I ended up having to sit in the front of the bus with my mother and the choir director, Bro Gary.
I was trying to hold back tears because I was so upset at whatever the situation was and Bro Gary was trying to make me laugh. I held the laughter in……but I was unable to hold the snot in and it proceeded to shoot out my nose all of my favorite sweater and him. I pray he doesn’t remember but who could forget?
4.) Year:2001. Place: Another Church Mission Trip
Instead of staying in a hotel/motel for this mission trip, we stayed at homes of a nearby church. Well, I’ve never had the most regular BM schedule but that year, it got really bad and I ended up stuck in the bathroom for a good long while cleaning house (metaphorically speaking). Well, apparently I did not courtesy flush often enough because I ended up flooding the toilet and the floor. That wasn’t the bad part. They had a plunger and towels and I’ve learned to be excellent at cleaning up that biz. No, the bad part was when I found out that the restroom I used (and abused) was above the closet of the couple who opened their house to us and apparently there was some leakage from the upper floor. Ugh……
5.) Year: 2002 Place: On the bus of YET ANOTHER church mission trip.
This one is pretty simple yet still horribly embarrassing because no one told me that the door of the charter bus restroom didn’t really shut all the way and it was a good idea to have a friend watching out for you. Yeah, that door flew right open after the bus hit a bump and there I was, pants down, looking horrified. It was all I could to leave that bathroom.
Well, there you have it. It’s amazing how many of those memories have to do with church and/or music stuff. ……all of them actually…..
Anyway, what is one of your most embarrassing memories?
miscellaneousme.wordpress.com 
Cara, I couldn’t resist. I likely have many more stories to share but this one, I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of telling:
I’ve lived my whole life at one time or another in the city of, or the suburbs of, Philadelphia. In Philly, we’re renowned for our “hoagies,” a mess of an assemblage of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, mayo/oil/and-or vinegar, cheese, meats or salad of some sort, and occasionally with a lot of other stuff like sweet peppers and pickles, etc. Everything but the kitchen sink, loaded onto a long, torpedo-shaped Italian bread roll, wrapped in waxy paper and tossed into a paper bag for “fine dining” later on.
On one particularly hot day when I lived and worked in downtown Philly, I took the bus home for lunch (when not in a hurry, I walked) to do some errands. I figured I’d grab a tuna salad hoagie at the corner deli and take it back with me on the bus back to work, to eat at my desk. (Yeah, it’s a real stink-bucket, so this in and of itself should be avoided!)
I hopped on the #42 bus at 3rd and Chestnut, about a mile from my office near Broad and Chestnut. The bus was PACKED, with only room to stand and hold onto the overhead rail. I stood right by the front door, holding onto the rail with my right hand– the same one that clenched that bag with the hoagie, while I tried to keep my balance as the bus herky-jerkied its way through noontime traffic, lights and stops. It was REALLY hard keeping my footing as the driver enjoyed those sudden jerky stops …..
At about 6th and Chestnut, the inevitable happend. Driver picked up speed then SLAMMED on his brakes. The tuna salad hoagie that had by this time (I swear, I didn’t know) dripped all its mayo out the end of the bag, wetting it and leaving it vulnerable. The torpedo-bun SHOT from the bag near the overhead rail and hit a very well-dressed businesswoman right in the forehead. It unfurled from its papers, spilling like a Niagara Falls of veggie-laden tuna salad down the woman’s face and front of her suit! I looked — horrified (and admittedly, somewhat hungrily!) — and said, “Uhhh, MY STOP!” and jumped from the bus.
OK, it wasn’t my proudest moment, and all these years later, I can still smell the tuna on that hot August day.
Pah-hah!!!! That is excellent! Thanks for sharing!!
Oh Cara..you are a brave, brave woman for posting this…thanks for the TOTAL outloud laugh today!!!! JenT